88: How to Face Your Inner Critic, Creative Blocks + Impostor Syndrome with Cynthia Hauk
Lauren Tilden
Welcome back to Making Good, the podcast for small businesses who want to make a big impact. I'm your host, Lauren Tilden, and this is episode 88.
Today's episode is like chicken noodle soup for the creative soul. I felt so calmed by this conversation with creative coach Cynthia Hawk, and I cannot wait to share it with you. We talked all about the inner critic self care, tackling creative blocks and much much more. One big update before we get into the episode though, and that is this Making Good is going pro. This new monthly membership is called Making Good Happen and it's for those of you who want to take everything you learn here on Making Good to the next level. Making Good Happen is designed to make sure that we're all taking the actions we need to take to move the needle in our businesses.
In this monthly membership. We'll work together on creating and implementing a marketing plan that will take your business where you want it to go. A private podcast accountability and focused deep work sessions are included. It's going to be so good. For a sneak peek of the details, just DM me the word Pro on Instagram that's @LaurenTilden, and I'll share some of the inside scoop.
Okay, so let's talk about today's episode, which is already one of my favorites. My guest today is Cynthia Hauk. Cynthia coaches heart centered and creative solopreneurs how to move through imposter syndrome so they can share their unique voice and offerings in the world. She shares simple and calming mindful art activities that can help people struggling with anxiety, stress, self sabotage and burnout. Her online classes, teacher trainings and group coaching program have supported people in 49 countries and growing. In our chat, we discussed what the inner critic is, how it shows up and how to face it, the concept of incremental improvement, activities and exercises that help us get in touch with our creative process and move through blocks. How to tackle creative blocks in your business, impostor syndrome and the best way to approach it, the power of rituals to spark creativity and momentum, the critical importance of self care, authentic marketing and much more. This episode is gold. Here it is.
Cynthia, welcome to Making Good.
Cynthia Hauk
Thanks so much for having me, Lauren.
Lauren Tilden
I am very excited for this conversation. As we kind of get ready to get into a really juicy conversation, I think all about a lot of really important topics like self care and mindset and creativity. I would love first to hear a little bit about you, if you could share what you do in your business and a little bit about the path that brought you there.
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, absolutely. So I coach creative, small business owners, largely on how to move through creative blocks, so they can share their unique voice and offerings out into the world. And I also share really simple and calming mindful art activities. They're largely my practice, and I share them to help others with anxiety or stress, especially with self sabotage, and with creative burnout. And I do all of that through online classes and teacher trainings and group coaching programs. I would say for myself, this process and journey for me has been a long time coming. But I think probably like a lot of your listeners who are creatives. I can be a perfectionist, I can procrastinate, I can self sabotage. And because of those things over the years, I've just adopted different mindfulness and art activities to help me be with a lot of those things and to help me move through them. So a lot of what I share has been through my own personal journey.
Lauren Tilden
I love how you said that you didn't say I've picked up activities and processes to help me like get rid of all these feelings of perfectionism or procrastination to like, live with them and move past or maybe not move past them, but go on anyway. I'm really interested in digging into that specific difference. Like could you just talk about that a little bit?
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, absolutely. I'm super passionate about that topic. So I hear a lot of times people say like if we talk about our inner critic or feelings of impostor syndrome, I've heard other people talk about eradicating our inner critic or banishing or getting rid of, and instead, I really like the approach of embracing our inner critic. And, and I love although it can sound cliche, I love the adage of feel the fear and do it anyway. Because there's been so much research and books and studies and interviews that have shown that people who have been creating successfully for years and years it's not that they no longer have fear, it's just that they've learned how to recognize that fear and not allow it to stop them from creating and showing up in the world. So I like that softer approach of embracing our inner critic.
Lauren Tilden
Yeah, I once saw Elizabeth Gilbert speak in Seattle, and she said something similar. She was talking about fear as like a kind of presence in any creative work. And she said that she, she didn't try to get rid of it or not have it be part of her process, she just tried to make sure it was sitting in the passenger seat, and not the driver's seat. So like being willing to sit with these things that maybe we wish weren't there, like letting them still be there, though, like tough feelings that kind of inhibit us creatively, or stop us from doing what we really want to do, letting them still be there, but just not letting them run the show entirely. So I really like that distinction. One thing that I know we're going to talk about is the inner critic, you just mentioned it. So could we dive into this topic a little bit? What is the inner critic? You talked about embracing the inner critic, which I feel like a lot of people are gonna be like, Oh, how? Why would I do that? How can I do that? Why is the inner critic so common? Like, why is this such a thing that we all face?
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, definitely the inner critic, I largely see it as a part of ourselves, that's just trying to keep us safe. And that's largely why I like to focus on trying to embrace the inner critic, because it is an internalized voice that is a part of me now. And many times the messaging that's on repeat, I don't believe is messaging that comes from me, right? A lot of times, we have external criticisms, perhaps from when we're younger, or over the years. And then it's like old tape record, we just started to replay it internally instead. But once that inner critic and that voice is there it is, at that point, I believe a part of me that's just trying to protect me, it's trying to make sure I don't have another moment of rejection, or I don't have something else that happens, that's hurtful to me. And so instead, I like to see if there's a way that I can be with it. And also to even use, I know, I love that you brought up the idea and notion of fear. And I like to even see when fear comes up in the creative process, that that can potentially be a wonderful signal, because maybe that means I'm on the edge of something outside of my comfort zone. And so that's really exciting that I'm starting to kind of test the waters, and consider something new and different.
So there's so many different ways that I think, we can reframe it in our own mind, to be more comfortable when those voices start to come up that don't feel good, because I know my inner critic is really mean, most people's inner critics can say things to themselves much harsher than you would ever say to anyone else. And I like to just think of it as like a young, Wounded Child, you know, that's kind of throwing a fit, so they can get their way and feel better. And instead, I like, I like the example you mentioned around the passenger. But also I've sort of see it as I have a nephew, and if he starts to have a tantrum, I'll make sure that I'm with him first that we can regulate together and have kind of a moment to calm down and be with each other. And then maybe I'll focus on what are the other options. And I do the same thing with my inner critic. So I be with it, I noticed that I helped kind of calm some of those thoughts and fears that are bubbling up, and then I can start to move forward into some other creative practices.
Lauren Tilden
I would love to talk about maybe some specific examples. So a lot of my listeners, as we were just talking about our product based business owners, or makers of some kind, others are, I think probably most listeners would identify as creative in some capacity. But maybe even those who don't like small business owners who sell something, offer something and are just, you know, kind of trying to take things to the next level continuously. What are some of the ways that like inner critic might be showing up maybe just some specific examples?
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, definitely. I'd love to share a brief story if I can, because they think I can share some examples with it. So before I did my MFA in the arts, I did a one year program in Italy and I was painting and we had deadlines at the end like halfway through the year where we had to get ready for an exhibit. And at the time, I was doing these really large paintings and murals with spray paint and oil painting. And I had a really what I felt to be a successful initial start where I created a lot of work, we came up to like right around holiday break. And when I came back, I was completely stumped. Totally frozen stuck. I felt like that project I had worked on, I kind of ran to the end of that particular course for that project. And my well, my creative route, well just felt completely empty.
And I remember my professor at the time had made the comment to me, she said, strike while the iron is hot. And, and I understand what she meant by that of, you know, if you're on a good roll with work to keep rolling with it, but I don't think at the time, she realized I felt like I had already drained that. And so instead, what was coming up for me, were a lot of thoughts around, you have no more good ideas, you're not going to get this done in time, the work you create is going to be crap, right? These are like voices that our inner critic can say to us. And so I sat with that on and off for a while her comment of strike while the iron is hot. And instead my my inner critic, twisted that again and said, See, you're not producing anything you're in the studio, you're not creating, right. And that inner critic can be a barrage of internal dialogue that cannot be helpful.
And so instead, what I started to explore then, but what I've done much more so in the last 15 years really since then, is I started to adopt small ways that I could just have some sort of what I like to call momentum, or to move through some of those creative blocks. So I like to use the Kaizen Muse method, which really just means incremental improvement. And I also like to use five minute activities to spark momentum in my creative practice. So some examples would be five minute mindful art activities, where I focus on my breathing first. So I'll notice that internal dialogue that's not helpful in any way, shape, or form in this moment, for me, I'll just recognize that thought, I'll notice where I'm holding tension in my body. So maybe that's in my chest area, in my upper shoulders, I might feel really warm, I might feel tightness in my jaw. So I just noticed those things and even name them or write them down. And then I'll give myself, I'll set a timer. And I'll give myself five minutes to make, to create anything. And that would be whatever your creative practice is. So if you're a sculptor, you make jewelry or you like to draw or paint, you can just give yourself five minutes of play time, where you don't have a deadline, you're not trying to get anything done, you're not trying to accomplish anything. And that five minutes I find is a good barometer, because my mind knows I'm not going to create a masterpiece in five minutes, that sort of removes some of the pressure that I can automatically place on myself.
And so what it does, what I've noticed for me and for my students is that it can just help to shift the needle, a hair, even just that little bit of getting back into creative practice, or a material that we really enjoy working with. Or especially for people who create as a creative and product, sometimes we can also get into a rut of creating for other people, creating to then produce and sell. And so it's just a way to give ourselves a bit of breathing space, literally noticing our breath, and then also breathing space to play without any expectation. And so that's one thing that I like to do. And that might be a daily practice. I've done five minute mindful art activities multiple times throughout the day when I need it as sort of a reset. And so that's kind of a easy way of dipping your toes in.
Lauren Tilden
Hmm, you mentioned something I think you said, Kaizen muse. Could you talk a little bit more about that? I just I'm not familiar with that.
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, so Kaizen Muse. So it was originally created in Japan. And it translates and just means incremental improvement. And largely, my understanding is, it came about through car manufacturers and they had a Japanese car manufacturer that had different stations where they were having people just focus on one like smaller task and they were much more efficient and were able to move through things much better. And then it transformed and people started using that with other forms of habits and mindset and then creative habits. So another example that's often talked about is if a runner wants to be consistent They might just set their sneakers out by the front door, or they might just put their sneakers on for five minutes. And so it's a way of having a task, or a habit or ritual or creative goal, feel so small that you can't fail. Like, you remove the barrier. And so what I mentioned to my students a lot of times, is if you're breaking down steps, let's say towards a creative project you're doing, if you look at that next step, what's that one next step, and it feels too overwhelming or daunting, and you kind of have that response where you just feel like, you know, like, we're, that feels like a barrier to even do that one next step, then I would say maybe that one next step really is 10 smaller steps.
And so I like to just refer to it as a way of how can I make my next step be as manageable and bite size as possible. So I can feel like I have some sort of momentum. And then I feel like often it's like a snowball that rolls downhill, you know, or once you get into a flow state, then you can start to kind of create more freely, but it's just a matter of getting that ball moving initially.
Lauren Tilden
Huh, oh my gosh, so many things you said that I love. I totally agree with that. I don't know for me, I usually think of it as like a as an overwhelmed thing. But a lot of times when I'm I feel stuck, maybe it's creatively stuck or overwhelmed with the amount of things I have to get done. The thing that actually does end up moving the needle for me and kind of getting me going is to whatever it is that I've been avoiding, like break it down into smaller steps. Because sometimes something can seem simple. Oh, but it's too broad, or it's too big somehow, to like, really understand what the immediate next thing to do is. So the smaller that you can break down your projects into like, you know, set up a login, like the put your name on the top of the paper, whatever it is, like, the smallest steps that you can possibly take, those often are what kind of get me going personally.
And also the idea of momentum. I really love that. Because for me, I find that in my business, it's all about momentum, it's like I'll go through these dips of like, where I'm not excited about things or I don't know, like things are going slower or make I'm not making as many sales and I'm not feeling as great about things. And then when things pick up, I have so much more energy, I'm doing more, which is like what creates more sales coming. So the question I often asked myself is like, how do you create that momentum? Like how do you not just wait for momentum to show up, but actually create it yourself? Because, yes, like you say, like, so much good stuff happens when the ball is rolling down the hill.
So do you have any other ideas for how to create that business momentum or creative momentum? You know, the five minute activities or one idea and I love that I'm kind of trying to play around in my head, as we talk about like, what those those activities might be for me. But what else would you suggest for people who are relating to this idea of like, yes, when I have the momentum, I'm doing things, everything's going great. I'm making results happen. But it's really hard to get that momentum going. What would you say to people who struggle with that?
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, I would first say that they're not alone. I think that that struggle that comes up around noticing our ebb and flow and our creativity is entirely natural and normal. And what I like to focus on is moving from resistance to rituals. And so I love that you named the fact that when you're, you know, when you're in a good flow, and you're creating lots of things, then you also feel better. And it's also good for your business that you notice that kind of positive spiraling that happens there. What I like to focus on is rituals. And that's not to say that it's guaranteed that I would automatically be back into that creative state. But what it does is it gives me a framework that I can step into where I know I can do certain steps and just be present and consistent and over time, eventually I'll get back into a good flow.
So what that looks like for me and what I mentioned for a lot of my students is one easy way that I like is if you are a creative where you have a creative space so let's say you're a painter or drawer so you have a desk or perhaps the easel you work at or if you're a sculptor or jewelry maker and you have your sections set up, whatever it is that you typically create, it can be helpful to make sure that your space is maintained in a way where you can just step in as quickly as possible to your practice.
And so, I know it sounds like something really small, but when my art desk as an example, gets really kind of out of control, and it would take me 30 minutes to 60 minutes just to clear a space, so I could even begin working that would, it stops me from being more creative consistently. So sometimes, that ritual is just having a practice where I can keep it so it doesn't kind of, you know, go off the sidelines. Or if it has done that, then I just give myself a bit of space to kind of bring my creative space back to a place where I can create more easily.
And the other thing that I like to do is I force as much as I can Creative Habits with a schedule. And I use the word enforce, again, very softly, like I do with embracing the inner critic. So I have as an example, on Mondays from one to three, I have a general idea of what I'll be working on with my creative teaching in business. And I know if I need to adjust that, for whatever reason I have the freedom to do that. But what it does is it frees up my mind. So when I come to my art desk as an example, at one o'clock on Monday, I know generally kind of what I'm working on. And I also like to leave some of the work that I've done in my creative practice unfinished the last time I'm working on it. So I can step back into it a bit more easily. So that's another kind of trick that I use that if you've never tried it, it can be really interesting to play around with some people I've noticed, creatives will do this just by working on multiple projects at the same time, which can be great as long as you don't feel too overwhelmed by too many projects.
But having what, I will often do similar to the five minute mindful art activities, by using that timer is I just don't allow it to come to full completion at the end of the day. So when I'm beginning the next day, I have something I can step back into right away, instead of sort of starting from scratch. So that can be something to play around with if you've never done that before.
Lauren Tilden
Yeah, that's such an interesting idea to apply to like running a business or creating your product or whatever it is, I've heard of that strategy for writing, where you know, if you're writing a chapter, leave off one day, like right at the end of a chapter don't finish it. But like, so it's clear where you start, because oftentimes, starting like we're talking about momentum is the hardest part like getting that ball rolling. So if you leave off one day where it's like there's already momentum, all you have to do is like sit down and look at the last sentence and then keep going. That's such an interesting thing to apply to running a business or creating your product. So yeah, me I'm thinking about different ways this could apply to me. I've got a stationery business. So yeah, like, I design my stuff and watercolors before I scan it and digitize it and all that. So maybe it's like, don't quite finish the watercolor have it be like almost done. And then the next time you sit down, it's like not so, I don't know, you don't feel like you're starting from scratch. I love that idea.
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, I love that you have that other piece that you focus on. Also, one thing I like to play around with and mentioned with my students also is this idea of mindful art experiments or having multiple things that you can play around with. And so that's another piece that I focus on to move through creative blocks is, especially if I'm working on a bigger project in my creative business, I'll have something even if it's again, just that five to 10 minutes on the side that I do every day or a few times a week that I feel really excited about and inspired by or curious about. And I have absolutely no idea where it's going. Like that idea of being curious and experimenting and not having a set expectation of where that project is going, I think for me and what I've noticed with my students is it can just feel really freeing and oftentimes that is like a little mini playground that can spark ideas. Even if that mini project doesn't go anywhere. It might, you know, spark your next idea that you do in your business later.
Lauren Tilden
Huh I love that. One thing that's kind of going on in my head right now, as we're talking, is thinking about how some of these practices, you're talking about creative practices or sort of like mindset practices can be applied to the business side of business. A lot of what we talk about here on the podcast is marketing, a values based business. So I think a lot of people when they think about getting stuck, yes, it could be like designing new products or completing client work, whatever it is, but I think also it can be marketing a lot of times is another area where we have so much to create that's content, emails, social media, like, blogs, if you do that a podcast in my case, so I wonder, like, just do you have anything to say about applying some of these practices to business and in addition to like, the creative process and the way that we normally think about it?
Cynthia Hauk
Definitely, yeah, so I, what I've noticed is that a lot of creatives that I've connected with, there can be this tendency that we feel really comfortable with our craft and with creating. And sometimes people feel comfortable with the business side and marketing. But most creatives that I've met, find that to sometimes feel either really tedious or perhaps salesy, or there's this struggle for it to feel as expressive and authentic, as we show up in our creative practice. And so I find that a really interesting thing that comes up for a lot of creatives. And I'm really, it's something that I've focused on for years, and I thread into a lot of my group coaching programs and how I coach creatives, because I feel like it's so important otherwise, that's, we can't really be successful as a small business owner, if we're not able to have multiple hats on with that.
So the one thing I would say around that is that I've noticed that that similar resistance we can feel in our creative practice can also come up in the business side of things. And so that might be that we know that we need to be creating content, perhaps through a blog, or social media, or on YouTube or a podcast, but we're not doing it or at least not doing it consistently. It might be that, you know, there's there's so many different ways we can kind of self sabotage. But it might be that we have too many ideas, and we're not sure which ones to pick, so we don't do any of them.
It might be that we feel so overwhelmed by the process, because it's a new social media platform. And there's a lot to set up. And we're not comfortable with it, that instead we focus on busy work and do emails, or tinker in our studio, right? There's so many ways, I think that we can self sabotage our practice and our business. So similar to the five minute mind part activities I mentioned, a lot of what I tend to focus on with that to gain momentum is having really good systems in place, again, some sort of creative habit or schedule, if it's something that's entirely new to you, I think it can be helpful to have support. So that might be through a course or a coach or just an accountability group. But also to have this, I work really well under deadlines. So or, or visual accountability. So having, let's say, one social media platform that you're focusing on, and letting that community know that you're going to be posting, you know, once a week on Friday, so you have some of that accountability there.
But there's so many I think the main thing that comes up when I hear you ask that question, is that it's so different for so many different people, what I find to be really helpful is identifying for yourself, what are the resistances? Why are they there? And then what are some small steps that you can just start to gain momentum and move forward. So another practice that I do and teach, that I use to move through that I call it the inner critic and inner muse writing exercise. So it's a way to converse with yourself back and forth between this resistance and this desire that you have to give back in the world to do good in the world to show up consistently, and be seen and heard, but also that there's oftentimes fear around those things also. So I have a writing process where you can just kind of converse between the two and it just really helps with clarity, and then having those small steps in place. So you can start gaining momentum. And I like to just ask the question as well like what could be my next step? What's the next thing I could do that would only take maybe five minutes. And I might spend a half hour just brainstorming those five minute tasks. And there's so many different ways to bridge it. But those are some some of the things I do.
Lauren Tilden
I love this idea of the inner critic and our muse reading exercise. If someone is interested in trying that, like, what would that look like practically?
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, so there's a few different ways that I approach it. One is using your non dominant hand. So I like to incorporate with a lot of the main activities, scribbling exercises, or your non dominant hand, because it's also a way of getting out of your own way and turning off that switch of perfectionism a bit. So, in that instance, I would have my inner critic, right with my dominant hand. So perhaps writing out what are some of those harsher things that my inner critic is saying to me? Or what are some of the resistances that are coming up? And then I might ask that question of what could be my next step, and using my non dominant hand allowing it to be, it's just an invitation that perhaps this is my inner muse. Or, if you have a mentor you really respect and admire, like, what would that mentor say, you could use your non dominant hand and write some responses.
And what I love about that, too, is that because it's your non dominant hand, it does a couple of things, it accesses another part of your brain, typically, more of your right brain hemisphere, that is our creative brain side. And then it also your responses have to be shorter. Because you're writing with your non dominant hand, it's so hard to write a big paragraph. So it tends to be these simpler, sustained kind of responses. And I don't know about you, Lauren, but I've found my inner guidance when that intuition or voice bubbles up, it's not usually a big huge monologue. You know, it's usually like five words or a sentence of wisdom that's like, maybe you should try this right now. You know, maybe this would feel good right now. So that's one way that I kind of approach it. But I I teach some different soul collage, and expressive arts practices and they all have writing prompts afterwards that go in depth. So it's hard to kind of express all of that over the podcast.
Lauren Tilden
Yeah, that's a great example. I love that idea. I would love to talk a little bit about impostor syndrome. This is something that's on my mind a lot, because I think a lot of us experience imposter syndrome, when we're kind of pushing ourselves to do more and, like, do better or do something bigger than we've done before. And I'm always, especially thinking about it as sort of as I don't know, it's kind of like impostor syndrome, versus like making the impact that I want to make, right. And because impostor syndrome, if you listen to it, or if you let it run the show, can hold us back from doing things that we know would make a positive impact or would help make the kind of change or whatever it is that we're trying to do with through our art or our business. I know that imposter syndrome is something that you talk about a lot in your work, I would love to hear your thoughts on impostor syndrome and any guidance you have for people who are feeling it just to some extent as like, why should I be the one who is successful doing this? Or why should people listen to me or any of those kinds of those feelings that I'm sure a lot of listeners are familiar with?
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, what I find so fascinating about impostor syndrome, is that there's been so many studies done around it, that it's pervasive, it's so common, and I remember I read an interview from Maya Angelou, it was like at the peak of her career, I think she was winning some sort of like lifetime award or something amazing. And, she had named that she was quoted as saying, like, they're gonna find me out any day now that I'm not actually good at this, you know, which is so mind blowing. For me when I see that and hear that from someone else who is clearly so accomplished at their craft and has been working at it for years and years and years. And that's just so common.
So I approach the imposter syndrome the same way that I approached the inner critic in first just taking some time to normalize it, to name this is part of our human experience, I think the same way that I also teach meditation and in so oftentimes with meditation, there's this idea that we need to there's a myth that we need to completely clear are thoughts, that we're only meditating when we have no thoughts. And instead, largely what meditation is focused on is noticing when we have thoughts that are distracting us. And then just with non judgmental awareness returning back oftentimes to an anchor, like your breath or to your body. And so I use mine for art activities the same way that someone would use meditation in that type of practice.
So anytime I start to notice that I have thoughts of imposter syndrome or the inner critic, then I'll use it as an anchor to simply notice that judgemental thought, and then I like to have, you know, instead of focusing on just the breath, I focus on a mindful art activity. So I might do writing, or I might actually create a small drawing or painting around that struggle that I'm having. And as I noticed those thoughts of feeling like an imposter, of feeling like my work isn't good enough of feeling like I don't deserve any success that comes my way, or that people will find me out, you know, these common thoughts that come up with impostor syndrome, that I can perhaps doodle while I'm considering those thoughts for five to 10 minutes. And then as I'm doodling, and those thoughts come up, just simply notice it, even perhaps, sometimes smile and like have an internal smile of oh, okay, good. I'm human like, this is what happens, when we're, when we're pushing the edge of something that feels really uncomfortable, like, it might be also a really exciting thing, because that means I'm attempting to be brave to put my work out in the world, which is a beautiful thing.
So just noticing any of those thoughts, perhaps reframing it. And then just continuing with that, and, it sounds so simple, and it is simple, and it's very difficult at the same time. And similar to meditation being a practice, I find that is also a practice. And I think that's why I also named earlier around embracing our inner critic, because I don't believe our inner critic, thoughts are going away, I don't believe those feelings of impostor syndrome are going to right away, they might quiet you know, or they might shift or you might feel more confident or comfortable or reframe it over time with practice. And so these, these mindful art approaches, they really are just a practice to help us be with those things. And then after that time, perhaps 5-10 minutes of doing that awareness, meditation and drawing and scribbling, then I might shift gears and focus on you know, what I can do to move into action. And I think that's why I bring up the word momentum so much, because, you know, any of those things, the inner critic or imposter syndrome, the main root of that is feeling stuck, is being stagnant is not moving, is feeling frozen, right is holding back is being shut down. And so anything we can do, whether it's some of the practices I'm mentioning, or whether you have your own practice, it might just be getting out and walking in nature for 20 minutes, and then coming back to your creative work and seeing if that's something that has shifted. Anything we can do to help support ourselves, our self care, our mental and emotional well being, to continue to take those brave steps forward inch by inch, I think is beautiful.
Lauren Tilden
Yeah, yeah, so much of for me, like sort of the personal growth side of running a business has been, or even just living, not even just running a business has been just learning how to be okay with negative or feelings that you wouldn't have wanted to have. And not letting them stop you like just sitting with uncomfortable things and maybe listening to what they have to say but not making that mean, anything about you and not making that really direct how you behave too much.
I have talked a lot about, maybe not a lot, I've talked about on the podcast how I have OCD. And a lot of OCD is around doing compulsions so that you don't have to be uncomfortable like, you know, flick the lights I don't particularly have like checking or like numbers and ritual based obsessions and compulsions. But people who do it might be about like, if you flip the light seven times, then you can feel comfortable that you know, whatever it is you think might happen if you don't, won't happen. And it's all about like preventing that discomfort. Or for me, like washing my hands for an especially long time. If I do it until I feel like okay, my hands are definitely clean. Then I don't have to sit with the discomfort of feeling like well, maybe they're in, I'm perfectly clean. And that has been, you know, just this practice, not that I've totally overcome it. But this practice of learning how to sit with things that are uncomfortable.
They've, I don't know, that's been such a test for me in my OCD journey, but also like in business, kind of these bigger topics of, you know, feeling like, things have to be perfect, or else I can't put them out into the world or, yeah, like, we've just been talking about impostor syndrome or inner critic, like, whatever it is, this, I think, like, the biggest thing I've learned, and that I'm still constantly learning is all of these things. And these feelings can still be there. And they don't have to stop you from moving. And I think kind of all of these mindset topics really come back to this feeling, or this same concept of just like letting yourself sit with hard things or uncomfortable things and still moving. So I love that that's come up so many times in this conversation already.
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, and I love also that you name specifically, that idea of perfectionism, because I do think that's a core route to what can drive a lot of those inner critic thoughts or feelings of impostor syndrome, is that we set a benchmark for ourself, that is not realistic, that we wouldn't hold other people to that same standard. And so finding a way, whatever that way is, for you to sit with some of that uncomfortableness, but also to perhaps soften so we can move forward a little bit, I think it's really lovely. And I often now, as a recovering perfectionist myself, I tend to focus on just shooting for 70%. And typically, my 70%, you know, is already probably above that anyways. But if I'm working on a project, instead of getting it to where my ideal in my mind might be, I shoot for 70%. And then we'll share and I know and trust that I can always experiment and make more changes. And, and then what that has done is it allowed me to create and release and create and release more often, which I think also does improve our work. So I think it can help with those feelings of perfectionism.
Lauren Tilden
Yeah, yeah. And as makers or artists, or even business owners, like we really never know what's gonna resonate with people the most. So I always send the one, one specific greeting card that my brand Good Sheila has that I literally made in probably, I don't know, four minutes, like it is, it was the least thought out like the least intentional or like, perfect thing that I've probably created for the whole line of all my products. And it's one of the most popular and I put it out there. I think in a rush because I needed a birth, it's a birthday card. I needed a birthday card. I didn't have one a couple of years ago and then like it started selling immediately and sells, like it's one of the best sellers even though for me, if I had let myself be a perfectionist about I probably never would have put it out into the world. So I think that to me has just is just evidence that like what's perfect isn't always what means the most to people or impacts them the most or they even like or want the most so yeah, like I love the aiming for 70% goal.
Cynthia Hauk
I love that story. There's also a certain level of like rawness to that you know that. I don't think sometimes people want something polished and perfect. Like we connect. It's the same way we connect with people we connect to, you know, our stories of struggle and, and with it not being totally perfect. So I love that about your card.
Lauren Tilden
Yeah, I always laugh when it when it's like it orders for it. And I'm like, I'm not my favorite, but other people do like it. So I just try to learn from it. I've gone over time already of where I meant to be. But I do have a couple more things I want to chat with you about. One is self care. And this is a big topic for small business owners who oftentimes are contending with this like hustle culture of just, you know, and I am raising my hand as high as I can, like I fall into this trap to feeling like you have to work hard to succeed like really hard and put in a lot of hours and particularly in the beginning. What I know this is something I think you have some things to say about like what, why is self care important for artists and also small business owners? And what are some ways that we can practice that and kind of create a routine around it.
Cynthia Hauk
I love that question. I feel like it's so important. So I'll say that I think probably like many people have had moments where I've burned myself out and where I haven't been tending to myself care. And I've paid the price for that, you know, made in some instances that looked like I was sick for a bit afterwards, or then I couldn't work for a while afterwards, or I completely dropped the ball on a project, right? Like, all of these things that can happen. And so mainly, that was about 20 years ago, when I was in college, where I was just doing way too much and, didn't have the self care tools. So one thing that I like to do now, that I like to speak about is that I feel really strongly that we can give out to the world from a place of our well being really full. So it's an overflowing out, instead of I give to the world, and then I take care of myself, you know, on the back end. And so I do a few different things just as far as kind of a self assessment.
So I have what's called the life life wheel balance worksheet that I go through, where I can just check in with myself and see like, where do I feel overextended right now? And, and it looks at different factors like how am I tending to myself care with my health? How am I doing that with my connections and relationships? How am I doing that with my overall sleep, or with passion projects, or with my balance of work, or how I feel about finances, right, like all of these different categories in our life. And I like that it's a way of, instead of doing an overall assessment of like, do I feel completely rundown, which at that point, maybe it's too far. Instead, I can look at all of these different areas. And notice, like, Oh, I'm actually really missing connection with my friends and family right now, because I've been working on this project, and you know, I'm doing all of these things. And so maybe that's an indicator that I can start to spend a bit more time or carve out some space to do that. So that's something that I do. And I, when, I'm really stressed out, or when I really have a lot of things going, I use that wheel weekly. And when I don't, when I have more space, or when I feel like I'm kind of tending to my self care more naturally then I do check ins like once a month or once a quarter.
But I find that when I am busiest is when I need that space to check in a bit more. And I know we were talking earlier a bit about self sabotage, I also have a worksheet that talks about eight different ways we self sabotage, and then how we can move through creative blocks. So if that's helpful for listeners, both of those things, I can always share that in a link. But yeah, self care, I think is just so important. And anyone who's had moments of burning themselves out, I think that deeper appreciation for self care. I also want to say I think that self care looks really different for each person also, like, as an example, for my mom's self care would be going and getting a pedicure or gardening, you know, and for me, it might be taking a random excursion to a small old bookstore and looking through art books, or cloud gazing, right, there's so many different ways that we can kind of feed our well. And so it doesn't have to always look like certain pampering things that people don't talk about, it might be, your self care might be venturing out and watching your favorite show for an hour, because that's what you really need to do to de stress in that moment. So I think just giving ourselves permission, and as best we can, seeing if we can tend to that before we feel burned out. Because you know, it's just easier to attend to ourselves then.
Lauren Tilden
And I don't know if other people can relate to this, but for me, sometimes self care feels like more to put on my to do list like oh, I already have all these things I want to do like I don't know, like adding these extra tasks that maybe Im not inclined to do as someone who's kind of go go go work, work work. I don't know, it doesn't feel like fun or exciting to me. Is that just like yeah, it doesn't need to but you should still do it or what would you say to that?
Cynthia Hauk
I think that that would just be that your definition of self care in that moment looks and feels differently for you. So if I was feeling that way in that moment instead of you know, brainstorming some of the ideas I just mentioned around going to a bookstore or gardening. It might be that you clear your calendar for an evening and you do nothing, you have nothing on your calendar and you can just see how you're feeling in the moment, maybe it's you just resting on your couch and having a candle lit, I think it might just be, you know, having a friend come over and have tea with them, or I think there's so many different ways. And ultimately, I love what you just named, because I think it highlights that it shouldn't feel like a chore, it shouldn't feel like an extra thing that you have to do, even if it's for yourself and for your self care.
I think I believe good nurturing self care should feel restorative and supportive. And in some ways, even inspiring. And yeah, so I think that just is whatever, whatever is supporting you in that time. And if it's something that you're ever struggling with to, it might be that you journal about it or talk about it with a friend, and just give yourself a bit of space, you know that you don't have to decide, right this second, what would feel good as self care for you also?
Lauren Tilden
Mm hmm. That's great answer. Okay, the last thing I want to touch on, before we head into our wrap up questions, one of the things that we were chatting about talking about on this conversation on this interview is authentically marketing yourself. That is something that is such a huge topic for me, and, and for listeners of this podcast. It's something that they like, like, oh, whenever I do episodes about kind of like heart centered marketing, or these kinds of topics, they are always some of the most popular ones. So just I know, we don't have time to do a whole episode on it. But do you have any tips or practices or just, you know, one or two minutes? And how, how would you answer this question of how do you authentically market yourself or your creative business?
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, I think a lot of the work we talked about around the inner critic and impostor syndrome, naturally lends itself to then be able to market yourself more authentically to put yourself and your work in the world in a way where you're not holding back as much or where you're being more transparent and genuine. The main thing, main tip, I would say is that documentation, like documenting what you're doing, and just sharing that, I find to be one of the most lovely ways I've been able to authentically market. And so as an example, if I did a five minute modular art challenge, recently on my Instagram and YouTube, where I was just feeling like I needed to do small practices to help me de stress. And I ended up documenting that daily and sharing it with others. And then we had a conversation together about it. Versus I think it's a way we can share parts of our story. Like, as I was creating one of my mandalas and sharing it, I then would talk about what came up for me personally, that I did in my writing practice.
And so I think just giving ourselves permission to be more human. We're in what we're sharing. And that doesn't mean to unload or overshare. Right. But I like the idea of documentation. And I think that that's really what social media was created for initially, you know, that's as small business owners if we're using social media, like Instagram, or Facebook or YouTube, well, it's largely because we're sharing parts of our world. And it's sparking some sort of interesting conversation, and then we're connecting with other people. So I like that idea of documentation. And again, just keeping it really simple. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be polished, that you can, you can similar to having that five minute mindful art practice. So you could just have, you know, a five minute goal that each day, you're gonna spend some time on social media and or, you know, just documenting what it is like what's coming up in your day that you want to share with other people?
Lauren Tilden
Mm hmm. Yeah, that's great advice. And I think there's this tendency to just want to share the final result that's late and this probably has to do with perfectionism somehow, but like, a very polished, final done beautiful. Like, everything's ready result. And I have found that like, that's actually like you're saying that's not necessarily what people are most interested in. Like, people want to see the process, especially makers, like people want to see the behind the scenes of how you do things or what your office looks like, or, you know what your morning routine is, like the really kind of what feels like boring details to us are really interesting to people who are interested in our journey and our work.
So and then even as business owners, some of the content that I've posted that has been most interesting to people is like, here's the tools I use, or here's a time lapse of me editing a podcast episode. For me, this is like, could not be more boring, but other people are interested in it. So I think just, yeah, I like this reminder to share the process or the documentation, like you say, share the behind the scenes, and not just the final, like perfect end points. So what a great tip. Okay, so we are going to move into some other wrap up questions. One is, we've talked a lot about many answers to this question already, I think but just in, in one question, how would you answer how you approach doing good through your small business?
Cynthia Hauk
I love that question. So I see a lot of my small business and my teachings as my calling, I see it as how I can serve and give back in the world. And I'm really passionate about helping other people to destress and move through their own creative blocks. And I see it as like a ripple effect, you know, if you drop a pebble in a pond of water, how it ripples outward, that with each person that feels more at ease, are more able to be with uncomfortability. And to still create and share in the world. We're sharing more and more with each other. So I like that visual. And, and it helps uplift me in the work I'm doing and to stay consistent.
Lauren Tilden
I love that. Yes. And I'm such a big believer in the ripple effect, like, every one person you affect like they can go in effect, however many more people and then they will do it. So yeah, so especially in creative work, I feel like that's, that's such a powerful force. What is one small business that you admire?
Cynthia Hauk
I really love, so we were talking earlier about authentic marketing a little bit. And I worked with George Kao, who is an authentic marketing coach. And I just really like he's really down to earth. And he is different enough from me where I can get, you know, these really interesting systems and tools, but he's really heart based and, so I connect, I can connect with his style and approach to marketing much easier. And so yeah, I definitely have a lot of respect for him as my mentor.
Lauren Tilden
What is a business book that you would recommend, or more than one if you want.
Cynthia Hauk
I love any books by Seth Godin, especially his Purple Cow and The Dip, which are both marketing books. And then I also really love Atomic Habits by James Clear, which I think would be defined as a business book, I think in a lot of ways. It's also just about mindset and habits. But that one has been a go go to that I have returned back to so many times.
Lauren Tilden
Okay. That's been on my list for so long, and I've just been resisting it for some reason. So thank you.
Cynthia Hauk
So good.
Lauren Tilden
Okay, so where can listeners connect with you online, I know you have a YouTube channel, you mentioned a couple of resources already, the self care worksheet, the self sabotage, exercise, and then there's also mindful art exercises. So any of this, I will link also, but if you want to share where people can find it, in case they're not at the show notes page, and then just where they can connect with you if they want to learn more about your work and what you have to offer.
Cynthia Hauk
Yeah, the best place would be on my website at mindfulcreativemuse.com. And then if you scroll down on the bottom of my website, it has links to all of my social media platforms that you mentioned. And I have a free resources page as well on my website that will share more information about mindfulness and art activities.
Lauren Tilden
Amazing. Cynthia, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I I already just want to re listen to everything you had to say and try some of the exercises you mentioned, this has been so much fun, and I know that my listeners are gonna love it as much as I did. So thank you for taking the time and for sharing with us.
Cynthia Hauk
Thanks for having me, Lauren.
Lauren Tilden
Was anyone else as comforted and inspired by this conversation as I was? huge, huge thanks to Cynthia for such a refreshing conversation. I am so excited to get doodling. Seriously though this episode comes out November 16 2021. Just a week before Black Friday and the holiday rush that can get nearly all business owners feeling pushed beyond our limits. I hope you're as inspired as I am to find those moments to take care of yourself as a human and a creative, not just a business person, did you enjoy this episode? I know something I would both love to connect with you on Instagram. You can text Cynthia at @mindfulcreativemuse and me at @LaurenTilden.
I would so love for you to leave a rating and review on Apple podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find all of the notes from this episode at makinggoodpodcast.com/88 If you're interested in learning more about my small businesses, Good Sheila and Station Seven, the links are in the show notes. I would so love to have you in the Facebook community for the podcast head to makinggood podcast.com/community to join. And finally make sure you're following me on Instagram at @LaurenTilden to make sure you get all the details on the pro version of this podcast coming soon, Making Good Happen. If you want a sneak peek on the details just DM me the word Pro and I will send you some of the inside scoop. Thank you for being here and for focusing on making a difference with your small business. Talk to you next time.