Welcome back to Making Good, the podcast for small businesses who want to make a big impact.
I’m your host, Lauren Tilden, and this is episode 83.
Your calling, your why, your purpose, your reason for being and doing… whatever you want to call it… that’s what we’re talking about today. We’re going to talk about what I actually mean by calling, why it’s important to find your WHY, and then - most importantly HOW to actually find your calling. I’ll share what some of the world’s leading thinkers in productivity, motivation and business have to say on this topic, and then I’ll also share some of my own experiences. This is going to be a good one.
Before we jump into the episode, though. I have some super, super exciting news to share with you.
And that is THIS: Making Good is going PRO!
This new monthly membership is called Making Good Happen, and it’s for those of you who want to take everything you learn here on Making Good to the next level.
Making Good Happen is designed to make sure that we’re taking the actions we need to take to move the needle in our businesses…. In this monthly membership, we’ll work together on creating and IMPLEMENTING a marketing plan that will take your business where you want it to go. A private podcast, accountability, and focused work sessions are included…. It’s going to be so good.
I’ll be sharing more in the coming weeks, so STAY TUNED (and make sure you’re following me over @laurentilden for all the inside deets as I share them). In fact, for a sneak peek of the details, just DM me the word PRO and I’ll share some of the inside scoop!
OKAY! Let’s get started with today’s episode… on finding your WHY.
Let’s talk about Sundays, shall we?
For many, many, many years -- the 8 years I spent in corporate events and marketing after graduating from college and before starting my small business journey, Sundays were HARD.
I’d wake up Sunday mornings with a sense of unease that would get progressively worse throughout the day, until Sunday night, by which point it had morphed into full on dread.
Dread that Monday was just hours away, and it brought with it a full week of spending most of my waking, living hours going to work.
I even want to put a caveat in here. For the most part, I had great jobs working with great people. I learned a lot, and even fell in love with marketing. So I know I could have had it so much worse… but still. It wasn’t working for me.
But in August 2017 I left corporate marketing for good, and I have not experienced the Sunday Scaries one single time since then.
In fact, I genuinely LOVE what I do. Sure, there are always tasks that aren’t fun when you’re running your own business, and I do get stressed out. But there is always this underlying feeling that I can only describe as ALIGNMENT that just makes it all feel… right.
I wake up Mondays (and every morning, if I’m honest), with the incredible privilege of feeling EXCITED. Excited to jump into the world of Good Sheila and Making Good and Station 7. Worlds that I have created to align with who I am and what I care about.
Now. I’m not saying, AT ALL, that quitting your job and working for yourself is inherently better for everyone -- it’s definitely not.
In my case, the “quitting my job” part was incidental. The REAL before and after picture that I’m trying to paint for you is about listening to my intuition, getting clear on my WHY, and following my calling.
These days, I have this deep in my bones feeling that I am doing work that matters, that I love, and that I’m uniquely qualified to do.
So.
Let’s first start by talking about words. In this episode, I am going to use a bunch of words interchangeably. We’ll talk about finding your calling, your purpose, and your WHY -- but ultimately, regardless of the word I use, what we’re talking about is finding what is most right for you to do in this world.
Everything I’m sharing with you is based on my own experiences, and from research I’ve done. But I’m not a life coach, and if you find yourself getting stuck here, I would recommend that you work with a life coach! I personally worked with Jenna Starkey, I’ll link to her in the show notes -- you can hear my interview with her in episode 3, and the guided visualization she did for this podcast in episode 42.
Why this matters
Why is it important that we do this work?
Oprah said, “Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is -- who you were meant to be -- and begin to honor that.”
I have 3 reasons why I think everyone should do this work to find their calling:
1. Purpose-driven people are more fulfilled.
Martin Seligman is the founder of positive psychology, has a model for achieving happiness called PERMA -- this is an acronym with different components/elements of a happy life, and the M in the acronym stands for Meaning.
Having a meaning or purpose in life helps us focus on what’s really important and the world beyond just ourselves.
In a 2009 study by Kashdan, Mishra, Breen and Froh, people who report having purpose in their lives live longer, have greater life satisfaction and have fewer health problems.
2. When you’re doing something important to you, you are more likely to achieve.
An Inc article cites a University of Michigan study showing that working with a sense of purpose and meaning leads to greater engagement, motivation, and productivity.
A lot of times, when we’re working in alignment with our purpose, we’re doing something that we would do EVEN if we weren’t getting paid for it, because we care so deeply. We’re more actively engaged, and we’re more interested in putting the work in, because we are so clearly motivated and connected to WHY we’re doing it.
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Our why is what motivates us intrinsically when things are tough. And moving forward consistently, even when things are tough, is what leads us to achieve our goals.
3. Leading with our values/our WHY is compelling to others -- as a small business owner, having a clear vision of WHY you do what you do is a critical component of being a great leader and marketer.
Simon Sinek wrote a book called ‘Start with Why’, and it he shares how powerful it is to be able to clearly articulate WHY you do what you do in your business -- both in terms of inspiring your team and anyone who works with you, as well as customers.
The line he repeats over and over again in his TED Talk on this topic (which I’ll link in the show notes) is:
“People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.”
He has a model called The Golden Circle. It’s 3 concentric circles, and he suggests that we focus most in our messaging on the inner-most circle -- Why we do what we do. The next circle is How we do what we do, and the outer circle is What do we do?
Getting super crystal clear on on our PURPOSE/WHY helps live happier, healthier lives, achieve more, and do better business.
It doesn’t get much more compelling than that!
How to find your calling
So. How do we actually go about finding our calling? Well, this is where the rubber really meets the road.
Let me start by saying something I believe with all my heart:
You can’t simply WAIT for your calling to occur to you. It takes work to figure things like this out.
And this work comes in the form of introspection. It’s a matter of really really getting to know yourself and listening to the inner wisdom that you have.
There’s no RIGHT WAY to go through this process, but I believe that there are 4 main categories to do some deep thinking and writing on.
I’d suggest that you make one big list of questions and view them as journal prompts. Spend some time on this, answering questions, reflecting on your life, and seeing what you come up with.
TALENTS: What are your strengths?
What are you innately good at? What do people come to ask for your help with or your advice on? What are the things that come so naturally to you that you tend to undervalue them?
For this, it can also be helpful to ask those close to you this question -- sometimes the outside perspective is helpful.
Don’t limit yourself to what feel like “marketable” skills. They don’t have to relate to your work., and I’d write them down even if they seem insignificant?
For a lot of us, really getting clear on and owning our strengths is difficult. Here’s an example: I am a good writer. But I didn’t study writing in college, and haven’t specifically worked as a writer, so I have often felt hesitant to claim it as a skill. BUT when I go through a process like this, it’s clear for me to see that writing is a strength of mine -- it’s something people ask for my help with, it’s something that comes naturally to me, and it’s something that p[eople have told me I’m good at. So here’s my encouragement when you see some evidence that you’ve got a certain skill, accept it!
There’s an assessment you can use if it’s helpful, called the StrengthsFinder 2.0
PASSIONS: What do you love doing?
What are the things you’re most passionate about? As Simon Sinek says, what are the things you love doing SO MUCH you’d do them for free? What lights you up? What energizes you? What are the tasks that you get lost in… you start working on them first thing in the morning, and most of the day could pass without you really noticing?
In my research for this episode, I came across a clip of Jack Canfield (author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books). He has an exercise he calls a “Joy Review”, where he essentially asks you to go through your life and make a list of all the times you felt great joy. Think back long into your past and spend some time on this.
Then, when you have your list, look for patterns. What do these moments in your life have in common? Jack Canfield says that whatever pattern you find -- there’s something here related to your passions.
I also want to add something here.
First, Simon Sinek says to think about the things you’re passionate about -- the things you love doing so much you’d do them for free? There’s an energy that comes with passion,
VALUES: What do you care about?
What are your values? What do you care about? What do you believe in? If you could share ONE message with the world, what would it be? If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
I have a *GREAT* if I do say so myself guide to getting clear on your values and figuring out how to write them into a Good Business Statement. To download it, head to makinggoodpodcast.com/goodbusiness.
EXPERTISE: What does the world need from you / can you be paid for?
Here’s the really practical side of this exercise. Make a list of things you could sell. Don’t think too hard about it at first, just start making a list.
For example, it could be: handmade jewelry, marketing consulting, copywriting, coaching, whatever it is. Don’t edit yourself at this point. Just make a big long list of different things that you could sell.
A few other questions to consider
The Inc article by Scott Mautz had a few other questions that I wanted to share, in case you’re looking for some more prompts.
What are your superpowers?
What have you learned from career misfires and triumphs?
What would your coworkers miss if you weren’t there?
What would OTHER people say you were meant to do?
After you’ve gone through these questions, spend some time with what you’ve come up with. We are looking for patterns that appear across all 4 categories of passions, strengths, values, and expertise.
Your calling should be something you care about, have an aptitude for, love doing AND something the world needs (something you can be paid for).
My Why?
In case it’s helpful, I thought I would share MY Why.
Put simply, my calling is to help small businesses make the world a better place. HOW I do this will vary over time, but right now it looks like….
-- being a small business that gives back (Good Sheila and Station 7)
-- buying from other small businesses as a way to support them (Station 7)
-- teaching other small business owners how to run strong small businesses, particularly when it comes to marketing (through this podcast!)
The writer Mark Twain said “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
But there’s a pretty good chance that that second day won’t be today.
This kind of work plays out slowly sometimes. It probably isn’t an overnight process. There might be some thinking, some playing around, some trying new things involved in this. Don’t rush it.
My experience with finding my calling is not that I all the sudden figured it out… but it was a process of moving closer and closer to it by making the next right decision that felt aligned and intuitively right for me… and eventually I just felt like I’d finally gotten there.
So, here are the next steps I’d like to recommend:
Do the journaling I suggested here
Draft your WHY statement and put it somewhere visible in your life to keep you going
As the days pass and you reflect on your WHY, see if it still rings true, or if it feels like it needs tweaking
Tweak, rinse and repeat until you land on something that feels right in your bones. You’ll know.
So! There’s my take on finding what you’re meant to be doing in the world.
What does this look like for you? I would love to hear your suggestions to add to this list -- tag me on Instagram and let me know @laurentilden.
If you enjoyed this episode, I would so so love for you to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
You can find all the notes from this episode at makinggoodpodcast.com/83.
If you’re interested in learning more about my small businesses, Good Sheila and Station 7 -- the links are in the show notes!
I would so love to have you in the Facebook community for this podcast: head to makinggoodpodcast.com/community to join.
Finally, make sure you’re following me on Instagram @laurentilden to make sure you get allllll the details on the PRO version of this podcast coming soon, Making Good Happen. (If you want a sneak peek on the details, just DM me the word PRO and I’ll send ya some of the inside scoop).
Thank you for being here, and for focusing on making a difference with your small business!
Talk to you next time.