Welcome back to Making Good, the podcast for small businesses who want to make a big impact.
I’m your host, Lauren Tilden, and this is episode 61.
I’m here with a bit of a different episode today, and that is in recognition of the huge way my life has changed since I last sat down to record. If you’ve listened to the last few episodes of this podcast -- or looked at the title of this episode -- you know what’s coming…
I’m a MOM!
In this episode, I thought I’d talk a little bit about the arrival of our little guy, and how it’s going 3 weeks into parenthood. Then, I’ll share a little bit about how I’m approaching running my businesses and parenthood.
I share all of this very much from the perspective of -- I’ve been a parent for 3 weeks. I am decidedly NOT an expert -- far from it. But in case it’s helpful for anyone to hear from someone in the trenches, I’m sharing where I’m at.
I want to say one thing before we get started. I know (from experience!) that for so many people, the topics of fertility, pregnancy and parenthood are really tough. If you resonate with that, I want to say, speaking as someone who did not have an easy time of it, that my heart is with you. If you feel like hearing someone talk about becoming a parent might be too painful for you, feel free to skip this episode! Small business strategy, marketing, and doing good tips are coming back next week :0).
But, if you’re interested in hearing about our baby’s arrival, and how our first 3 weeks have gone, let’s get into the episode.
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Baby Casey’s arrival
Let me start with the fun part:
Baby Casey James Tilden was born on April 20th, 2021 at 4:33am. He weighed 7 pounds, 4 ounces and was 20.87 inches long. Currently, both Casey and my partner Kate who gave birth are doing well.
There were some curveballs when it came to his birth. We had a scheduled induction on April 19th, but after hours of labor, we ended up having to have an unplanned C-section early in the morning on April 20th.
We got to meet the baby only briefly after delivery, as he was having some trouble “transitioning” -- meaning he needed some help breathing. So he was taken to the NICU where he stayed for over 2 days.
We were originally told to expect him to stay 7-10 days in the NICU, but he made an unexpectedly fast recovery, and we got to bring him to our hospital room on April 22nd, and we were discharged from the hospital on April 23rd.
We stayed for about a week with my parents, and my mom helped us readjust to the world while figuring out how to be parents, by taking great care of us, cooking, and taking great care of Casey (she’s something of a Baby Whisperer).
And now we’re home! The day this podcast releases, May 11th, Casey is exactly 3 weeks old. He has had his first pediatrician appointment, he has a more fashionable wardrobe than I do thanks to gifts from our amazing friends and family, and he got his first piece of mail (his social security card!)
He loves holding hands, cuddles, soft clothes and blankets, eating, and using his hands as claws. He’s noisy and talkative, and makes a lot of sounds that we have described as a “baby dinosaur hatching from his shell”. He hates diaper changes, getting his tiny fingernails clipped, and sleeping during the night. He doesn’t mind walks in the stroller or car rides, as long as we keep moving (he seems to hate traffic as much as we do). And, I know I’m biased, but he is a really, really, really good looking baby.
How it’s going
So let’s talk a little bit about how it’s going.
This is the part of the episode where I’m really struggling to summarize everything into a coherent single point of view. So let me just give you a list of things that describe how it’s going:
I am learning SO MUCH. I can’t remember a time where I learned more, faster. He is changing every day and there’s something new to figure out every day. For example, yesterday we gave him his first bath. I didn’t even realize that I needed to learn how to give an infant a bath, until we opened the box that his baby bath was in and I realized I had no idea where to start. Every day, all day, we’re learning.
Babies change so quickly! Casey is learning even faster than we are! Every day he is making more eye contact, using his hands more, finding new ways to communicate, eating more, interacting in different ways. I didn’t realize how many tiny milestones there are to celebrate along the way.
I’ve been practicing setting aside my expectations. We’re still mid-remodel, so we’re living in a temporary place that just isn’t home. It doesn’t have a decorated nursery. Our kitchen is small and constantly full of baby bottles to wash, and we’ve been eating too much take out. Any perfectionistic visions I had of what it would be like to bring a baby home have been swiftly set aside.
However, I feel like this experience has helped me reset my priorities a little bit. The cute nursery and clean kitchen just don’t seem as important when compared to the time we are spending cuddling with Casey, reading books as a family, taking slow, sunny walks with the stroller and Puff through our neighborhood.
I appreciate sleep SO much. I’m so, so tired. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more tired -- and I’m getting more sleep than Kate is.
Community has never been more important to me. Being a parent is SO MUCH WORK and I’ve felt more connected to the people around me more in the last 3 weeks than I can remember before. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and I’ve been pretty blown away by how people have been there for us.
I am just amazed by all parents. I can’t believe how hard it is to be a parent. How much work it is. How all-consuming it is. Kate and I are both home full time with him right now, and we still feel like we need a third adult in the household to keep things running!
But all in all, things are good. I am so excitd that i get to be a parent to sweet Casey
Small biz
So, how does this all relate to business?
I’ve been a parent for exactly 3 weeks, so I am OBVIOUSLY no expert in parenting, work/life balance, or managing a business as a parent. If you’re looking for someone with real expertise on that, I had a GREAT episode that I took a lot away from with Jess Gupta, that is episode 46, Parenting and Running a Small Business - makinggoodpodcast.com/46.
But, like I mentioned, sometimes I think it’s helpful to hear from someone who is IN IT, rather than an expert, so here’s how I’ve been approaching work and baby so far.
Before the baby arrived, I had NO IDEA how to approach setting up a new work schedule or maternity leave because I had no idea what it’s ACTUALLY LIKE to be a parent. So I didn’t force myself to create a detailed time off plan, but I did do my best to make sure that the most important parts of my my businesses could run without me while I was out.
The most important thing I did before Casey was born was to make sure that almost everything that absolutely had to get done in order for our revenue to keep coming in could be done without me. In that case, that means that starting a few months ago, I transitioned most of the operational work that I do, especially with Station 7, the retail store, to Mary, our operations manager.
Things like staffing schedules, daily interaction with the team, ordering most merchandise, keeping the store in order, customer service, shipping orders, etc. -- all of that is managed by Mary.
I’ve held on to a couple of operational things, like payroll, but for the most part, Station 7 the store, which is where most of my revenue comes from, can run without me.
I still oversee the marketing and overall strategy, and I made the decision to allow that stuff to be paused while I was out adjusting to motherhood.
With Good Sheila, my stationery brand, and Making Good, for the most part, I put things on pause while I was gone. There were still podcast episodes that I had pre-recorded that were released weekly because I’m really proud that I’ve consistently published each week for ALMOST A YEAR, but I put my marketing on pause.
And before my last “work day” prior to taking time off, I put up an email autoresponder directing anyone who reached out to me to get in touch with Mary if they needed to hear back immediately.
And then, I pretty much logged off… and I’ve been surprised by how easy it has been to just focus on Casey, Kate, and our new little family.
I also didn’t schedule a finite “end date” of my time off. I originally said that I expected to be responding to emails in “early May”, and then yesterday I changed my autoresponder to say that I’m working limited hours for the foreseeable future.
So, now Casey is 3 weeks old and I finally feel like I’m starting to get my feet under me when it comes to being a parent. I’m starting to dip my toes back into the world of work.
What it ultimately has looked like is that I took 3 weeks pretty much fully off, and then starting the last few work days, I’m easing back into my businesses, a couple of hours per day on average.
Having just a couple of hours to work each day has forced me to ruthlessly prioritize what really needs to get done in my business.
When I was working 8-10 hours per day, it was easy to set huge, lofty goals about what I would get done each day, but when I KNOW I only have a couple of hours, it’s a lot easier to just get down to working on what matters most each day.
I’m finding myself cranking through tasks that have been on my “To Do” list FOREVER, simply because I just don’t have TIME to procrastinate anymore.
Noticing this happening has reminded me of a quote I’ve heard a lot, but never really understood until now.
“If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.”
When you REALLY need to be efficient with your time, you will be.
My takeaway from this is something that can apply to you whether you’re a parent or not, and that is that constraints and boundaries are helpful!
Give yourself limits to the amount of time that you spend working -- either on your business in general, or on specific tasks.
For example, I know that I only have around 3 hours each day to work, so there’s really no time to do anything besides get focused and start getting stuff done.
I also know that right now, I have about 30 minutes until I need to be finished recording this podcast, so I need to start wrapping up NOW.
I’m excited to apply this idea of time constraints leading to enhanced productivity to as many places in my life as possible.
So what is my plan for work and business and parenting moving forward?
To be honest, I’m not totally sure.
What I know is that I love my businesses and my podcast, and the current plan is to keep it all going forward.
In the short term, I expect to be ramping up to working 20 or so hours per week.
We are fortunate that Kate has 6 months of parental leave, so when she goes back to work, we’ll have childcare to sort out, and I honestly don’t know what that will look like for me, but I am committed to sharing it as I go!
As for this podcast, I don’t think you should expect any major differences. I’m still planning to do both interviews and solo episodes, and to release podcast episodes weekly. It’s possible that there will be some more parenting+business content coming -- let me know if that’s interesting to you -- but for the most part, the focus of this podcast remains the same--- helping you build a strong small business, market it effectively, and do good in the world.
As always, I love hearing your feedback about the podcast, so if there is anything in particular you would like to see, please get in touch with me on Instagram and let me know! I’m all ears :).
Okay! Today’s episode has been a little bit different… I’m excited to have had the chance to update you on such big news, and I’m equally excited to get back to the marketing and biz goodness that you and I both love.
If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, but haven’t taken the next step.. I want to invite you to go a bit further!
First, I have an awesome guide to creating great content and coming up with new ideas. Download it (FREE) at: makinggoodpodcast.com/content.
Second, there’s a Facebook community of amazing other small business owners and great content just for the group that I would love for you to join. makinggoodpodcast.com/community.
Are you a parent and a business owner? I want your tips! DM me @laurentilden on Instagram.
You can find the full details from this episode over at the show notes page at makinggoodpodcast.com/61.
If this is your first time tuning in and you’re interested in hearing more about my businesses, check out:
My small biz marketing offerings, laurentilden.co
Plant-inspired stationery company goodsheila.com
Seattle retail shop Station 7, station7seattle.com.
Thank you for being here, and for focusing on making a difference with your small business!
Talk to you next time.