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110: How to Stop Getting In Your Own Way + Actually Make It Happen

110: How to Stop Getting In Your Own Way + Actually Make It Happen

Welcome back to Making Good, the podcast for small businesses who want to make a big impact.

I’m your host, Lauren Tilden, and this is episode 110.

Today we are tackling a SERIOUSLY big topic: how to stop holding yourself back and how to start ACTUALLY making it happen. I’m so so so excited to share some of the things I’ve learned that have helped me do just that.

If I could sum up the single most important thing I've learned as a business owner, it would be this:

👑 Action is QUEEN 👑

You can have all the motivation, grand plans, and courses in the world... but none of it matters if you're not taking action. 

 It’s the action that changes things in your business, NOT the learning/planning/strategizing by itself.

No one knows this better than I do.

I've spent YEARS of my life dreaming and hoping and planning and wishing... doing everything except ACTUALLY taking the actions that I needed to take to see things change for me.

But, in the last few years I’ve stumbled upon some tools that have really helped me to take consistent action in my business… leading a business I am so proud of and so excited about.

And I can’t wait to share them with you. 

So, let’s get into it:

#1 Getting honest with yourself

Well, geez. We’re starting this out with a bit of a doozy. But one of the most important things you can do to start really making things happen is to get honest with yourself.

Are you one of those people who creates these super grand plans… but does not have a good track record at executing them?

This pattern is DEFINITELY one that I’m familiar with. And I have to admit - a little part of me kind of loves this endless optimism I have that things will be different this time!

But, optimism isn’t enough. 

When we’re making big plans for our business, it’s so important to be really honest with ourselves and try to pre-empt any possible issues that might get in the way.

When you have big plans, ask yourself:

  • What might stop me from taking action on this?

  • Where might I get stuck?

  • Have I made a plan like this before? How did it go? What could I do differently to make it more likely I’ll follow through?

  • Is there anything in this plan that feels overwhelming? How can I break that up into more manageable pieces?

  • Do I have the bandwidth to actually execute this plan? Or do I need to adjust my expectations so that they make sense with the time and energy I have available?


#2 Set yourself up for success

Related to the first tool of getting honest with yourself, let’s show ourselves the ultimate act of self-compassion by setting ourselves up for success.

When you have something you want to do, ask yourself up front: what can I do to make my success inevitable?

One big concept I got from James Clear in Atomic Habits is this: we can’t control motivation - it’s either there or it’s not. We can’t leave our fate in the hands of our own motivation.

What we CAN control (mostly, at least) is our environment. We can set our environment up in a way that will help us achieve our goals, not hold us back. 

For example, if we notice we are always going on social media instead of getting other work done, we could install a social media site blocker on our computer.  Or if we want to consistently exercise, we could make sure that our exercise equipment is in a prominent place in our house. Or, if we’re trying to eat more healthfully, we can put healthier foods at eye level and store the less healthy stuff in less noticeable places.

So, how can you make your environment specifically designed to help you do what you want to be doing?

Another way to set yourself up for success is about having realistic expectations. I personally tend to bite off WAY MORE than I can chew. I commit to doing way too much, and then I get overwhelmed when I realize that I don’t have the time or bandwidth to actually follow my plan. 

Instead, what if you set a low bar for yourself? Get super clear on your available bandwidth, and then commit to things that you KNOW you can handle given the other demands on your time and energy.

I think people hesitate to set a low bar for themselves because they feel like they’re letting themselves off the hook, but the truth is – if you finish everything you commit to and still have more time, by all means do more! 

But part of setting ourselves up for success is managing our own emotional state. If every day I create a to do list for myself that I can’t possibly actually get through, I’m setting myself up every day to feel disappointed in myself. Whereas if I set clear and manageable goals each day or in a certain project, I can end on a high, feeling proud of myself and fulll of momentum to go into the next day.

#3 Find your focus

How do we actually sit down and do the things we set out to do, without getting distracted by the thoughts racing through our minds or other projects and tasks?

I’d recommend that you really spend some time thinking about the times you find yourself most productive. What do they have in common? Is it a certain time of day? Are you working in a certain type of environment? 

Get really curious and see if you notice any patterns. And then, try to build those elements into your work schedule as much as you can.

But the reality is… sometimes, we’re not in the exact right location or it’s not the best time of day, but we still have stuff that needs to get done.

So, what do we do then?

Well today, I thought I’d share the 2 things I do to get focused… that work EVERY SINGLE TIME. Seriously. Every time. 

The two methods I use to get focused are:

  • The Pomodoro Technique

  • Focus Music

The Pomodoro Technique is a productivity strategy named for those old plastic tomato shaped kitchen timers. 

The old school analog kind that you twist to set the time, and then they ding when the time is up. Most commonly, people will talk about working in “pomodoros”, which is a 25-minute increment. 

During those 25 minutes, you don’t check social media or your phone, but you know that when they’re up you’ll get a break. 

Then, when the 25 minute timer goes off, you give yourself another timer for about 5 minutes to do whatever you want… before you go back for another pomodoro of focused time. Pomodoros work because 25 minutes just isn’t that long. 

Any of us can work for 25 minutes… but it’s surprising how much you can get done when you stack up a few of these pomodoros. 

Also, in a sense, the pomodoro technique is a bit of a reward system. After we work for 25 minutes, we are rewarded with the chance to check our phone or social media or email, or whatever we want… which is motivating. 

You don’t need any fancy tools to do the Pomodoro Technique – just a timer of some kind that you set to 25 minutes, and then 5 minutes afterward. 

There are some free tools you can use online that have these two timers automatically set one after another – I’ll link a couple in the show notes in the member portal. 

The second technique I use to focus is for lack of a better word, Focus music. 

There’s a lot of this kind of music on Youtube or on Spotify that you can search for, but I actually subscribe to a service that has a bunch of different focus channels. 

The service I use and have used for YEARS is called Focus at Will. I’ll link it in the show notes – and I have an affiliate link you can use if you want to sign up. 

There are other services too – a quick search just brought up one called brain.fm. 

But essentially, these tools (or Spotify playlists or Youtube videos) play music that has been scientifically optimized for productivity. 

You can usually adjust the “intensity” or speed of the beat, and select different types of music. 

But they tend to be instrumental, with a consistent beat that just kind of gets you in the zone. 

I’ll link to Focus as Will, as well as to some free playlists you can check out if you want, in the show notes.

For some reason when I use focus music, my brain just stays in the zone of what I’m doing. I don’t find myself off checking social media or my email, I just power through. In fact, as I prepared my thoughts for this episode, I had my trusty Focus at Will going to power through. 

So what does this look like for me? I turn on Focus at Will, set the built-in timer on there for 25 minutes, and then work until the timer goes off. 

If you’re not using Focus at Will, you could just set a timer on your computer or phone, and then listen to the music until that timer goes off. Then you set a timer and give yourself 5 minutes to do whatever you want (without the music generally). 

Rinse and repeat :).

#4 Be consistent

The next tool that is so critical to making things happen is taking consistent action.

Here’s a quote from Atomic Habits by James Clear:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.

Your goal is your desired outcome. Your system is the collection of daily habits that will get you there.

This year, spend less time focusing on outcomes and more time focusing on the habits that precede the results.”

Setting ourselves up for success is about building the SYSTEM. A system is a set of actions that we repeat consistently.  In other words, a SYSTEM is the actions that we do over and over again.

Our results aren’t determined by a big gesture that we do ONE TIME, but by the small things we do consistently. I’ve shared this on the podcast recently, but I just hit 60,000 downloads of this podcast.

This feels kind of miraculous to me, because my pattern is usually to give up on things WAY BEFORE I start to see the big and exciting results. 

Taking small actions consistently over time is pretty magical, and I’m now trying to apply this concept to other parts of my business and life. What could happen if I showed up consistently for the long haul?

Whether you’re working on building your email list, starting a Youtube channel, getting better at your craft, growing a social media platform, getting wholesale accounts… whatever it is.

The key to finding success is to take action consistently… EVEN when you’re not seeing immediate results.

One great way to help make sure that you consistently take action is to to create accountability for yourself… which brings us to  the fifth and final tool I wanted to share today.

#5 Get accountable

I’ve always been one of those people who is EXTREMELY RELIABLE. If I commit to meet you somewhere, or do something for you – you better believe I’ll be there with bells on. I never struggled to get homework turned in on time or to meet work deadlines. 

BUT THEN I started working for myself… and suddenly I was the boss. I found myself setting these grand plans and then simply… pushing the deadlines back… and then back again. 

Over and over again - I would make these promises to myself about what I was going to do in my business… and then I would break those promises, time and time again. 

This new pattern really affected my confidence. I started to feel like maybe I wasn’t the dependable, capable person I had always thought myself to be… because why was I always letting myself and my business down? 

I somewhat accidentally stumbled upon the solution to this pattern of letting myself down when I finally started making some small business friends. 

When I made these new friends, I naturally found myself joining accountability groups where each member of the group would commit to what they were going to do in a given week or month, and then we’d all report back on our progress the next time we met.  

And lo and behold – when other people were involved, I started getting things done again, and my intense belief in the power of accountability was born. 

So why does accountability work? Well, I can only speak for myself, but I imagine this is true for many folks. 

When I set deadlines for myself, there was no COST if I missed those deadlines. 

I didn’t have to admit it to anyone except myself. However, when I’ve committed to doing something and told other people about it, there’s a cost if I don’t do it! 

I have to fess up and admit that I haven’t followed through. 

It’s important to me that other people consider me true to my word and dependable, and I risk people thinking otherwise if I don’t fulfill my commitments. 

So as a result, when there’s accountability built in, I’m MUCH more likely to follow through. And my guess is that the same would be true for you.

So, over the last couple of years, I’ve built accountability into my business in every way I could think of, but there are three main ways I use accountability that I find most effective, and I want to share those with you today. 

  • The first type of accountability I use is accountability with my peers.

    When I’m working on projects, I like to connect with other small business owners and let them know what I’m working on and when I’ve committed to things coming out.

  • The second way I’ve build accountability into my business is with my team.

    Not everyone has (or even wants) to have employees or other people who work in their business, so if that’s not part of your plan you can ignore this part. But if you currently have (or want!) employees, you can create accountability with them. Just like you probably give them deadlines, I like to also commit to them when I’m going to be doing certain things. This especially works when the person I’m working with needs something from me in order to do their job! I know that they can’t do their job without me completing my end of the deal… so I do it.

  • The third way I’ve built accountability into my business is through sharing with my audience.
    This is super, super powerful. When I have a big plan, I no longer keep it to myself. If I’m launching a product collection, I share that with other people and let them know when they can expect to see it.

    When I launched my membership program, Making Good Happen, I talked about it for a couple of MONTHS before I finally had a website to sign up with… and even then, I said: ON JANUARY 3, Making Good Happen launches. If I hadn’t set that date of January 3rd, I can tell you with 100% certainty that this program wouldn’t be here.

    That public commitment was so powerful. Finally, if you have a piece of content that you release regularly, tell your audience that!

    This podcast ALWAYS comes out on Tuesdays, and I pull out all the stops to make that happen, even when it sometimes leads me to a late night…. Because I know people are waiting for it.

The truth is that I don’t always FEEL like doing the things I’ve committed to do. 

But when I’ve built accountability in, I do them. 

So, that’s my list of 5 tools that will help you make it happen.

  1. Get honest with yourself

  2. Build fail-proof systems

  3. Find your focus

  4. Be consistent even when you’re not seeing results

  5. Get accountable

If you’re looking to really start making things happen in your business, I would LOVE to work with you inside of my membership, Making Good Happen. Making Good Happen is all about going from overwhelm and procrastination to taking consistent action (and seeing results!). Get all the details at makinggoodpodcast.com/mgh.

 You can find details from this episode at makinggoodpodcast.com/110.

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Thank you for being here, and for focusing on making a difference with your small business!

Talk to you next time.

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